KBR Horse Humor:


A true tale by Margo Weise

Howdy, it's your old friend Steel Bars Ferseyn, back again. I seem to recall that I promised you a tale of the new baby sitter. Aah! She was a delight. She already knew me so she brought her mother along for back-up. Mother was supposed to keep me occupied while she got the job done. Mom and I had many a deep meaningful conversation on world affairs. I'd just shake my head in agreement, of course, cause everyone knows that humans have no horse sense.

Now a guy like me always likes to make the new folk welcome so the first night I greeted them at the door. Since no one bothered to inform me we were having guests, I had already taken it upon myself to feed the crew. It was so nice of the boss (I let her think she is) to leave a bale of hay out.

While I was at it I did some halter arranging and deposited the twine pile in Luvy's stall. She's blind, you know, and I thought this would be good a physical therapy exercise for her. Many's the hours I have spent doing twine macrame. Next I got out all the brushes and grooming equipment just in case someone driving down the dead-end road would be overcome by the urge to groom a horse.

Now, they open the door and lo and behold my charming face is there to greet them. Of, course mother is excited but Robin took it all in stride, even when I took her hat and put it in the dirty stall. They put me back, cleaned the barn, fed and watered us all, and devised a "fool proof" lock for my stall.

The next day I greeted them at the door with more decor galore. This time I had not forgotten to lime the barn floor, just in case we got an ice storm in June. Back in the stall and a new "fool proof" lock is devised.

The following day Buster joined me in the "work". It helps a tall guy like me to have short stuff dragging out those low articles the boss stores underneath things. We were both in the hay stall making a giant fluff pile when the team entered. By now mom is pleading with me and I nod my head in agreement, once again, cause humans just have no horse sense. Job done. New "fool proof" lock. Gone.

The next day I have traveled throughout the barn depositing apples in each and every clean stall. Humans need something to do to occupy their minds. Now they not only have to figure out how I got my "fool proof" door open but how I got all those other doors open as well. Cleaned up. New "fool proof" lock. Gone.

On the last day of the boss' vacation I staged the grand finale and met them in the yard. Cleaned the mess. New "fool proof" lock. Gone. Vacation done and the boss is on her way home. She says to the others in the car, "Steel's going to meet me at the door." Can I read minds, or what? As the car drove in the drive way, I threw the door open and whinnied to her. "Hey $*@#&%!" she says. My famous nickname! She missed me!!

That's the story of the last baby sitter. Wonder who they'll get next time? We're running out of them. She had to go clear out of the county for this one.

Webmaster's Note: On June 26, 1998, I received this interesting piece of email:

My name is Robin Kobielak and I just discovered the "Who's the Boss" story and I am the babysitter. That was quite the experience. Every word is true right to the last detail. Babysitting Steel is a very humbling experience.

Thanks for the note, Robin. It looks like Steel comes by his reputation honestly!


One winter morning after a heavy snow Margo heard a commotion outside. A mare in one of the pastures had fallen into a snow drift and was in total hysterics. Before Margo could get dressed to let herself outside, Steel undid his "fool proof" lock, made his way through the barn door, got himself into the pasture and ran over to the mare.

Margo stared in disbelief (if one can do that owning a horse like Steel). He had walked ahead of the mare, turned to face her, then lowered his head, uttering rolling nickers over and over again. The mare settled down and slowly crawled forward to Steel through the drift and got herself out.

I suppose these Houdini horses do come in handy at times.

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